A happy hour is more than just a time to get together and socialize with other fun gals - AKA  "cool chicks". It is a time to do something we don't often get to quickly ... genuinely connect, share and be "audaciously authentic."  And,  it is a gift you give to yourself and other cool chicks!

 

Here's how it works, we meet up either in person or on ZOOM, some gals know each other, from prior calls or in "real life." but often we don't know each other at all. (Check with the hostess on where and what to bring)  We each have 6-10 minutes to share depending on how many gals are on the call.  We answer four questions ... each with a  purpose.  There is no order to the questions, answer in any order you like.

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#1.  What was your high point for the last week?  What sparked joy? or what are you grateful for? or what is cause for celebration?  It can be as simple as a shell your husband gave you or monumental as finding a new home or getting pregnant..  

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This question is important because sometimes we hold back the things we are happiest about when other friends aren't in a place they can also celebrate.  It can also be that at certain times in our lives we forget to LOOK for the things (big or small) to celebrate.

Let us celebrate with you!  

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#2. What was your low point for the last week?  For some of us, we tend to hide the low points, keeping up a smile even if we don't feel that way inside.  It might be a way to cope, but at a happy hour, it isn't always about "happy".  We all have a low point of the week. Even in the best of weeks!  This is a time to share.  And the Cafe is a place where there is No Judgement, No Blame, No Trying to Fix Anything, No Pity, No Advice. (see #4)  It is a place where you can put words to your feelings and will be seen and heard with compassion and support. 

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It is an amazing experience, and the crazy part is that the more YOU share, the safer others feel to share.   

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#3. Answer one question from 36 Questions to Fall that Lead to Love.  Each week there is a new question from the 36 Questions. Here is the NYT article that made it famous - Article.  These questions were designed by the psychologist Arthur Aron to explore whether intimacy between two strangers can be accelerated by having them ask each other a specific series of personal questions. (And, these were the questions Richard and I asked each other during the first few weeks of dating, and yes, now we are married) 

We want to fall in love with each other, and ourselves.

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#4 Then we ask, "How can we support you?"   It can be hard to ask for support.  Often just listening is the best support, or being together each week.  Some gals stay on the call after happy hour is over and talk things out or create support partnerships. There are so many ways to help and be helped.  Sometimes we will suggest possible ways we can help, but we try never to jump in with advice or solutions or strategies.

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Help is such an interesting thing.  We often don't like to ask for help ourselves, will ask for only what we think is "acceptable" or is easy to give. And, on the other side, we often try to give help to others, not knowing what is needed or giving them the help we think they need.   So please, say what really would support you.  It is in our nature to provide the help we can.

 

So that is the Happy Hour format, for now ... things are evolving here at the Café, so pipe in with suggestions.  

Also, do you want to start a Happy Hour at a new time? Let me know.

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Huggles

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Sondra

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